as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
