the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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