If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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