He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
nutella sex= disaster
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores