Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
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Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
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I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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