if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
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I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
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Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.