I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.