When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
