Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
