YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize