the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
