So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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