it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize