I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
