thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
