goodnight i made you a song goodbye
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize