it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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