Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
