wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I currently don't understand fingers.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
