So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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