called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
