Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
and she was petting her beer can
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
What drink are we having for lunch?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
