this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.