I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
