So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
