How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
