Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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