it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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