some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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