Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
