Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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