Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She's JV to your varsity
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
