what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.