he looks like a really good dad on facebook
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!