Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
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Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
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Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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