I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
