It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
