yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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