No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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