That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
