the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
