We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
