We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
he just fucked me for my cheese.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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