His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
