I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
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I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
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the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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