need another drink. this is the easiest way
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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