I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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