well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
