Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
