My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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