Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
not ubering you a puppy
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
