Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
