It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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