Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So much rum. So many feels.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
