he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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