all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
