it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
