we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
