If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I am available for nakedness
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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